It was deep in the night. We were still awake after a fun filled night. My housemate was asleep, our mutual friend stayed awake and we chatted over a cuppa of tea.
It was then that she told me about her brush with death – her life before cancer and her life after the first tumor.
She cried as I looked on helplessly, not entirely sure how to comfort her but still rejoicing in the fact she was now safe and sound and the tumors and chemotherapy a thing of the past. After all, she was only a young one at twenty-odd years old. The talk of death and cancer was uncomfortable. Nobody likes to be reminded of how fragile life is.
Life went on, and we slowly lost contact as she moved on in her life and what I always hoped to be away from cancer.
I found out the hard way that she hadn’t moved away from cancer after all. I picked up a copy of MX and her face stared at me from the rustling paper.
Image source: Daily Telegraph
Her name was Clare Oliver and perhaps some of you folks from Melbourne, perhaps even in other parts of Australia might remember her as the girl who fought against solariums in her final days and lost to the battle of cancer herself a few weeks later.
Do you know how hard it is to read the paper, realise your friend is dying and feel helpless? To this day, I kick myself for having found out that way – from the newspaper. How outrageous does that sound? Why didn’t I stay in touch, why didn’t I stay close to her, and why wasn’t I there in her final days?
I did attend her funeral, but nothing can really lighten the feeling of guilt that I wasn’t there with her, for her.
So Clare, this is for you. It is not much, but you did like chocolate.
Bananas along with chocolate sauce, drawn up in my best chocolate drawing skills, which unfortunately isn’t much at all. The chocolate was made from David Lebovitz‘s recipe which he calls the amazing sauce and it tasted just that. Amazing.
Perhaps what made this dish even better was the fact that the sun was out and it felt amazing to be in the warm again. But kids, please do remember what Clare Oliver stands for. Sunscreen, and no excessive sunbathing. This is very important, so I implore you to stay inside and always, always, always use that sunscreen.
Sometimes I look back through my photos and I shed a tear or two as I remember the nights we went out clubbing, of memories of her trying to put on her makeup in the tram, stabbing herself in the eye with her false lashes and us getting wasted and drunk in the night clubs.
I have videos of drunk!Clare who was insistent that my plushie bee was moving and out to terrorize her, and of her saying that white bread was salty. Drunk!Clare was very funny Clare. Those videos are well-treasured and my only proof that she was once alive and treading upon the soil of this earth like you and me.
It is hard to lose a friend, a family member and really it is hard to lose anything. So, Thank You to organizations like Livestrong and thank you to others who have been fighting alongside. I look forward to the day when a complete cure for cancer exist and I hope it is soon.
For more information on Livestrong with a Taste of Yellow, please visit Barbara’s blog. There are many more touching stories and many other hearts to visit, so I do hope you click along and take a minute to share along with many others.
The Best Chocolate Sauce
From David Lebovitz, the genius
Ingredients
1 cup (250 ml) water
1/2 cup (100 g) sugar
1/2 cup (160 g) light corn syrup, agave nectar, or glucose
3/4 cup (75 g) unsweetened cocoa powder (preferably Dutch-processed)
2 ounces (55 g) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
Method
1. In a medium saucepan, whisk together the water, sugar, corn syrup (or agave or glucose), and cocoa powder.
2. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Once it’s just begun to simmer and boil, remove from heat and stir in the chopped chocolate until melted.
Serving: You should let the Chocolate Sauce stand for a few hours before serving, which will give it time to thicken a bit.
Storage: Store the chocolate sauce in a covered container in the refrigerator for up to 10 days. Rewarm before serving.
And for Clare, Rest In Peace dearest. At least my plushie bee won’t be able to terrorize you anymore.
[New Post] Livestrong with a Taste of Yellow: Bananas with Chocolate Sauce – via #twitoaster http://berrytravels.com/index.php/livest…
Thanks for sharing this
I’ve heard of Clare before from the news…she def did make an impact on others with her life. Sometimes friends grow apart…don’t be too hard on yourself for this!
Love your chocolate drawing skills btw!
.-= Vivienne´s last blog ..Orange and Honey Pudding =-.
Thank you Vivienne. It’s true what you say about friends – we can’t always stick together forever. But it is also hard not to kick yourself for it.. but life must go on.
My chocolate drawing skills need more work! But I’m glad you like it!
My contribution for Livestrong Day : http://berrytravels.com/index.php/livest…
@berrytravels Thanks for your touching LiveStrong post. Read it with a lump in my throat. x
@berrytravels Lovely post. I read about Claire on the newspapers and knew about her story.
RT @berrytravels: My contribution for Livestrong Day : http://berrytravels.com/index.php/livest…
Thanks for sharing this personal honest post. Choc & bananas are a great combo. Your memories with Clare will always live on. xx
Clare forever, choc and bananas forever!
That was a beautiful memory… I too remember Clare’s story… and we’re currently living one here as well… Thanks for the post =)
.-= msihua´s last blog ..Les Petit Truffe – Autumn Festival In Spring =-.
Thanks ihua. It’s hard to write such posts but I’m glad I did it. =)
best chocolate sauce? I have to make it then!. I do remember Clare from the news. I”m sure she’s smiling down on you as you keep her memory alive.
Her memory is always alive within me. It’s been many years but its hard to forget her, especially when spring and summer comes around as it automatically makes me think of sunscreens. ^^;;
Go go go make the chocolate sauce! It’s so so good.
What a beautiful presentation! Looks so yummy and by using good-for-you dark chocolate it’s healthy too…
Thank you Nancy. Organic chocolate all the way!
Thanks for sharing your story. I remember Clare Oliver from the news… I think her legacy was successfully alerting people to the perils of suntanning.
.-= April @ My Food Trail´s last blog ..KEA Mahi Wines Dinner at Comme- Melbourne =-.
Yes, that is definitely her legacy. In fact as a direct result, I’m a bit of a nazi when it comes to suntanning and sun screens as well. I really frown upon suntanning…. haha.
Celeste I so remember Clare as she featured in a TV programme on NZ television when we lived there. She was sweet and I thought at the time what a terrible waste of such a lovely woman. How wonderful for you to have had her as a friend. She sounds great fun.
Thank you for sharing your heart for LiveSTRONG Day.
I need to try this chocolate sauce recipe. It sounds delicious.
Thank you for your lovely email.
It was a waste. Clare was amazingly strong and very confident. The only time I ever saw her break down was when she told me of her cancer. There is much that can be learnt from her. But similarly, there is much that can be learnt from you and from other cancer survivors. It takes strength for us to support you and other sufferers but it takes even more strength and amazing willpower for you and other sufferers to go through with it.
The chocolate sauce is good. Definitely try it!
I didn’t realise how many moving stories would be revealed when I joined in Barbara’s event. I’m glad it brought me to your blog – your honesty is brave. There is a lot of guilt when someone dies.
.-= Sally – My Custard Pie´s last blog ..LiveSTRONG with a taste of yellow =-.
Yes, I’m so glad that Barbara started this event. A lot of really moving stories have been shared and I look forward to when Barbara links them all up on her website in case I’ve missed any.
Celeste, this was a really moving post to read. I agree with Sally’s comments.
.-= deb (bearheadsoup)´s last blog ..Hawaiian Jellied Salad =-.
Aw, thank you Deb. It was a hard post to write as I got teary a lot. But I’m glad I did. =)
Hugs babe.
Thank you for this. I do indeed remember hearing her sad story, and I am sure that even though you didn’t keep in touch she thought fondly of you and had many people with her through to the end.
.-= Conor @ HoldtheBeef´s last blog ..Muff of Satisfaction =-.
I know too many people who have been touched by cancer. Those who are young, those who are old and those who definitely still wanted to keep living. Death is an inevitably part of living but it would be nice if sickness didn’t have to be.
.-= mademoiselledelicieuse´s last blog ..Sugar Hit- Glass Brasserie & Azuma Kushiyaki- 1 Oct 2010 =-.
I remember Claire. I read her story on the papers and felt terrible even though I didn’t know her. I feel for you and this is a lovely post and lovely recipe for a good course.
.-= Ellie (Almost Bourdain)´s last blog ..Kartoffelpuffer German Potato Pancakes Our Journey from Darwin to Alice Spring =-.